The Funeral Circuit

I talk to The Arch Mother every morning on the phone - usually by 9. Lately the conversation has often started like this:

"Hold on a second. (Yelling at my father The Brick) Honey, get me some more coffee. Look up what time the (FILL IN THE BLANK) funeral is at? Thanks. (Returning to our call) So who have you talked to this morning?"

My parents are in a strange twilight place where they seem to be professional travelers on the funeral circuit. There is at least one a week - sometimes more. This weekend they had a funeral of a lovely friend and then a wedding on the same day.  The Brick leaned over to me midway through the wedding and said:

"I like weddings a hell of a lot better than funerals."

Such is their life right now.  Long time friends getting old and dying.  My mother is finding it very inconvenient and sometimes annoying. Who wants to be the last one standing? Well, my mother for one. She was complaining last night (they'd returned from a funeral of a man my mother had babysat as a child):

"Everyone is so dour at funerals.  There is a group of widows that always wears black and never puts on any lipstick. I mean would it kill them to put on some make up and clean themselves up?" 

I laughed and she laughed, because what else can you do?

"I'm sure dad takes comfort in the fact that you plan on wearing hot pink and tarting-it-up when he dies."  

What she means with this kind of talk is that people seem to start dying long before they die, and for people who are interested more in the act of living, it can be a real downer.  She isn't near as callous as she can sound - but the truth is her frustration is born out of grief. It is hard to watch people get sick or frail and have memory problems.  But what are the alternatives? Sometimes humor is the best way to defray the accumulation of losses. 

My parents are both deeply religious and have built their lives around their faith.  I don't think either of them has a real fear of death - they're just working hard to enjoy every moment they're given here.  Really we should all be living that way - we're all heading to the circuit one way or another. Might as well enjoy the show.