Because I Said So

During the work week a lot needs to happen between 7:10 am and 7:50 am. The three older kids need to be up and out the door for school; the youngest child needs a diaper change (which is usually a life event) and continual supervision because he likes to stand in the highchair.

The Athlete and I watch the coffee drip into the pot with the anticipation of addicts. After a quick breakfast, he carries his bike up the basement stairs and heads out at about the same time as the kids. Some days those 40 minutes feel like the last six miles of a marathon.

I was grumpy this morning.  I wanted a snow day and we didn’t get one. I got everyone started on the wrong foot by being the child in the house instead of the mom. The Athlete woke everyone up – but we weren’t moving very fast. And now after a few cups of coffee, I’m seeing the morning for what it was.

My coffee did not look this good. If it did, I wouldn't have been so crabby.

For the most part, the first words my kids hear every day is either from my husband or I. 

This is a huge responsibility - those first few words sets a whole day in motion, which in turn is the basis for a week, a month and beyond.

Suddenly, "Hey guys, we're late. Hustle, hustle, hustle!" Feels pretty useless.  Sigh.

How often does the morning start with something like: 

Rise and shine. Time to get up. Hurry. We're running late. We've got to shovel. Do you have that done?

 Let's try this. What if the first thing we say each day is something like:  

Good Morning. I love you. How are you? What did you dream about? I'm so glad that you're mine. Good to see you.

Words are powerful muscles. We flex them unconsciously all the time. 

Let’s even take a step farther back.  To before we’ve gotten out of bed. What is the first thing we say to ourselves in the morning? 

I’m exhausted. I’ve got too much to do. I wish I didn’t have to get up. I wish it was Saturday. I wish I hadn’t overslept. I feel old. I feel anxious.  I feel fat.

Let’s try this.  What if we say something like:   

Thank you for today. For my beating heart.  For the people I love. For the chance to do something special. For the opportunity to right a wrong. For the ability to start something brand new or to finish something important.

Whatever you say, choose your words carefully. Maybe we can start our days by elevating our lives with the choice of these words. If you want to be better, happier, and more peaceful; say so, even if only in the quiet of your heart.

Our words work in conjunction with the words and language of the people around us. We create a verbal tonality in our families and in our communities. Think about how yours sounds? Is it Melodic? Loud? Discordant? Funky? Sharp? Harmonious? Inspiring?  Provoking?

Is it beautiful? If it isn’t, could it be? 

We set a tone. The words we use in our hearts eventually come out of our mouths and our language is contagious. It infects all aspects of our lives and it can make us stronger or weaken us - but it changes everything it touches.

So especially with my children, I remind myself over and over again to choose my words carefully. 

I'm so happy to see you. How was your day? I love you. I missed you.  I'm sorry. What are you thinking about?

In the end, what we do is more important than what we say, but that doesn't mean that what we say isn't important. We have to start with how we talk to ourselves in the silence of our hearts.

Maybe if we use loving words, gentle words, patient words, courageous words, those words will shore us up, give us strength, inspire us so that we have the energy to DO the loving, gentle, patient and courageous acts.

Our words are the foundation for what comes next. So what do you say?

Find that happy place in your heart - this is a view from mine.